38 week photos

The view from above.  You can just see the start of my "outie"

Belly shot (taken in our new kitchen)

10 things to be thankful for at 38 weeks gestation

1. Not being pregnant in the summer (we've had a few days in the mid-teens and I was cooking!)

2. Getting maternity clothes from friends and not having to buy the few spring items that I need to make it until my due date

3. Sleeping well both at night and when I nap.  I rarely wake up at night to pee and I only wake up for a minute or two when I need to turn over

4. Having enough shoe options to find a pair or two that fit, despite my swollen feet

5. Having a super casual job that allows me to nap on my lunch breaks (the couch in the nurses lounge is SO comfy!)

6. Having a new house with a dedicated baby room

7. Having a husband who doesn't make fun of my mood swings

8. Feeling well enough to be able to go for short walks (as opposed to a month ago when I couldn't even walk for a few minutes)

9. Receiving lots of hand-me-downs baby items

10. Feeling pretty darn good, despite the big baby growing in my belly.  I thought that I would feel so much more uncomfortable at this point but honestly, I feel great!

The question of the week

This is my last week at work before I am off for a year of maternity leave.  That also means that this is my last week of working at my job in Banff as I will be applying for a position in Calgary once my maternity leave is over.  Everyone keeps asking "Are you ready to be done"?  To be really honest, I don't know that I am ready.  Despite the heartburn, I actually feel pretty darn good these days. I don't physically feel very uncomfortable (certainly not more so than I have in the past) and while I am slightly more tired, it isn't overwhelming. I don't feel particularly huge and my mind isn't completely preoccupied with thoughts of the baby.  It does help that work has been pretty quiet this month and I haven't had any problems finishing up my various tasks.  I haven't been run off my feet and I've had lots of opportunity to sit and rest (plus take the occasional lunch hour nap on the couch in the nurses' lounge - it's SO comfy!).  The thing is, I'm pretty sure that I'm going to love being a mother but I really really love being a social worker and I'm very sad to be leaving this position.  I know that moving to Calgary was the right thing for us to do, financially and otherwise, but at this point (when the baby isn't actually here yet), it's really hard to imagine how life will be without this job.  I know that I put a lot of my identity into what I do - being a social worker is a large part of what defines me as a person - and my work ethic is just another part of that.  I've been working since I was 15 years old and at many times in my life, I've had to work two or three jobs to make ends meet.  The idea of not working so that I can stay home to care for another person is totally foreign to me and I'm having mixed feelings about it.  

A picture of productivity

This is Scott.  He's supposed to be setting up the crib and the change table. He's been working on that project for three days.  As you can see, he isn't really all that into it.  I bet that you can guess how much progress has been made on getting those two items set up...

It's either one or the other

So, the question of the day:  Are pregnant ladies more clumsy than normal when they are eating or do most of us actually drop all sorts of food items while we are eating but don't even realize it because we don't have big boobs and/or a baby belly to catch said items and they just fall straight to the floor without even being noticed?

What do you mean by that?

I know that I am totally over analyzing people's comments but I am constantly struck with wonder by the "wow, your belly looks really small considering you are having a baby in .... weeks!".  I have heard this quite bit in this last part of my pregnancy (and am pretty sure that I have said those exact words to other pregnant women that I have come across) and it always strikes as a bit odd.  I know that people are really just trying to be nice and are just trying to make conversation but I never know how to respond to them.  I have very little control over how big or small my belly is and I feel like they are congratulating me for being "small".  I actually don't know that I am smaller than other women at this stage but I do know that there is so much variety in the size of baby bellies (which became incredibly evident once we starting going to prenatal classes and I could see where things were at for other women).  I guess that I worry about people's perceptions of pregnancy and am conscious of the fact that our culture is somewhat obsessed with women staying slim throughout their pregnancy.  I am certainly much rounder in other places and I know that I have gained weight all over my body (which has been a bit hard for me to get used to but now I feel comfortable with it) so I know that I'm not some skinny mini pregnant lady.  So, if I can make a suggestion for those of you who are reading this - if you see a pregnant lady, maybe just tell her that she looks great and don't make a comment about the size of her stomach.  I know that I certainly will try to do that in the future.  

My first thought of the day

Every morning, I wake up and think, "oh, there will be a baby here soon".  I must admit, these thoughts are primarily as a result of the little thanks that I give every morning about the good night's sleep that I had the night before but they also come from the realization that my life is about to change so dramatically.  I love that I wake up thinking about the baby and I can't wait for his/her arrival!

Thy heart, she burns

Ok, so I thought that I was having bad heartburn before but it certainly has ramped up to a new level over the past few weeks.  I'm now on a 5-a-day Zantec habit and frequently wake up in the middle of the night with the burning pain. I've taken to keeping Zantec right by the bed and I've found that eating a bit of yogurt before I go to sleep makes a really big difference.  The baby should be dropping down soon (and will also be born soon) - both of which are excellent remedies for eliminating heartburn.

It's just like in the beginning

So, I'm back to being totally STARVING all of the time!  When I was first pregnant, I ate almost hourly.  This was partly to stop the nausea but also because I was super hungry.  In the second trimester, I returned to a more normal level of eating with a couple more small snacks thrown in per day.  Over the past two weeks, I have returned to being hungry, hungry, hungry!  The baby is supposed to be gaining 1/2 - 1 pound per week at this point and it certainly seems like that is the case.  Again, my own weight gain has been slow over the past three weeks (no gain during that time) but I'm sure that I'm heading for another jump in weight very soon.  I know that I'm getting bigger because 1. I can see that my stomach is getting HUGE and 2. I measure the circumference of my belly ever few weeks - the last time that I checked (about three weeks ago), it was measuring 41 inches.  Now, it measures 45 inches. Can't wait to see how big it will be by the end!

Adventures in bathing

I decided that I needed to shave my legs the other day which means having a bath (because you just can't bend over to shave your legs when your belly is big and hard).  It was the first bath that I had taken in our new house and I was already suspicious that it would be a challenge because the tub is not very deep and doesn't really have any tub lip on one side.  So, I managed to slowly lower myself down and shave most of my legs (it's really hard to reach the back of my legs) but I'll be damned if I could figure out how to get back up!  Scott had long fallen asleep by this point so I truly was on my own.  In the end, I had to turn myself over onto all fours, lift up one leg at a time, put my hands on the one side of the tub, and precariously put my foot down so that I could raise myself off the tub floor. The whole process probably took about ten minutes - I think that might be the last time that I try to shave my legs in this pregnancy...

Weekly whining - 36 weeks

As the baby gets bigger and bigger, it is getting increasingly difficult to move around.  I can't bend over (haven't been able to do that for months) so putting on my socks is a major challenge. I've perfected the art of the "pregnant lady squat" so that I can still pick things up off the ground.  I need to scoot to the edge of a chair before I get up.  I need to roll over onto my side and push myself up with one hand before I get out of bed.  I need to put one hand down before I sit in a chair.  The list just goes on and on...

"Are you getting excited?"

People ask me this question about a dozen times a day (such are the joys of working in an office with hundreds of employees!).  I never really know how to answer because, to be honest, I just don't feel all that "excited" about the baby. Please don't get me wrong, I am thrilled about becoming a mother because I've wanted to have a child for a long time and I think that Scott and I are embarking on a fantastic journey.  Rather, I think that I am really struggling to wrap my head around the idea of having a baby.  It seems like such a foreign concept to me and I just feel overwhelmed by the prospect. Not in a bad way (if that makes any sense), just in the way that it's so much for me to ponder and therefore, I just don't think about it that much.  Also, my head is still in the 'need to get my house unpacked and finish up everything at work' stage and there doesn't seem to be much mental space for the 'oh my god, we are having a baby in four weeks - am I ready to be a mother?' stage.  I'm just assuming that we will figure it all out as we go along.  

Public vs private

I started this blog to keep far-flung family and friends updated on my pregnancy.  I knew that I was posting it to a public domain but I never imagined that it would go any further than that.  I didn't think that anyone would ever stumble upon the blog because it seemed hard to find it without having the actual blog name.  Well, you can imagine my shock and surprise when I was contacted last month by a reporter looking to speak to me about my thoughts on the Banff hospital obstetrics closure!  I couldn't figure out where she had gotten my contact info from and I was totally weirded out by her email. However, apparently my blog comes up when you do a Google search about the hospital closure.  I have now been contacted on three separate occasions by reporters looking to speak to me about the closure but I have declined to be interviewed on each occasion.  I have told them that I could not speak publicly about this issue and while I see the irony of making this statement (given that they got my contact info from a public blog) I still don't want to be quoted in the newspaper.  I feel that my pregnancy and thoughts on the hospital closure are private and not for the masses to read.  There are many things that I don't post about on this blog, because I feel that they are not appropriate for a public space and because I feel that I don't need to share every little detail of my pregnancy (I also want the human race to continue on and I think that women would stop getting pregnant if they actually knew all the horrifying details of pregnancy!).  Some things need to stay private, even if you have a public blog.  

Ignorance is bliss?

I don't spend much time thinking about what life with a baby will be like.  I have no ability to conceptualize that and since it's going to be such a drastic shift from my current life, I feel like there isn't much point in devoting a lot of mental energy to it.  This is my general approach to a lot of things in life - I do have a tendency to worry about things that I have no control over but strangely, I can also completely shut my brain off from pondering certain life events.  Parenthood is just yet another one of those things.  This may or may not be a good strategy about becoming a mother but I just figure that there is no point in getting overwhelmed by something as big as having a baby.  The flip side of this is that I don't spend a lot of time thinking about whether or not I'm excited to have a baby.  I know that I'm going to fall madly in love with my baby as soon as I see it and I trust that that will be enough.  I'll let you know if this strategy works out or not...

36 week update

I'm not quite at the 36 week mark but it's a quiet Sunday morning so I thought that I would use the opportunity to provide a little update.  Not too much to report on body changes at this point - I'm mostly just getting bigger and more uncomfortable. My "waddle" is getting worse - I need to put my hand down to sit down and I need to make a very concerted effort to get back up again.  My back is usually pretty sore by the end of the night and I have a good time chuckling at my "toes pointed out to the side, belly forward, hands on my back, slow steps" walking stride.  Oh well, only a few more weeks of that walking style are left.  

I'm now on weekly doctor's visits.  There continues to be no complications - my blood pressure remains pretty low and the doctor seems happy with the baby's growth.  I've let go of my obsession with how much weight I'm gaining - I no longer even bother to convert the number of kilograms into pounds (which probably helps with my lack of interest in the weight gain - I don't do the math so I just don't really know what I've gained).  Truth be told though, I'm sure that I will do a final tally right before my due date, just to know where I finished up.  The weight gain was certainly the hardest part of the first portion of my pregnancy but I have come to terms with the fact that pregnancy involves weight gain and as long as you don't go overboard with eating, all will be well.  

We started our pre-natal classes last week.  They actually finish after my due date so I'm not sure if we will get to all of them but the labour prep classes are during the first three sessions and those are the ones that I am most interested in.  After much humming and hawing, I decided to go with the health region classes but mostly because they are being taught by the local midwife.  I am already appreciating her point of view - she gives a very balanced perspective between the traditional medical approach and the more "alternative" midwifery approach.  In typical Scott anti-establishment style, he is somewhat horrified by having to attend such an organized and conventional course but he's just going to have to work through that.  He managed to work through it last week by having four beers before going to the class (it was just a coincidence that some good friends of ours had just returned from their trip to Europe and we went for beers with them to hear about their trip).  I made him promise that he wouldn't slur his words while we were at the class - I could just picture Child and Family Services coming to investigate us for being unfit parents, all because the "father" showed up drunk at the first pre-natal class!

To ease the Brand family's anxiety about how they will receive word on when I go into labour, we have created a telephone plan so that they know when I go into labour.  The rest of you will have to wait until you get a call/email announcing that the baby has been born.  I'm sure that word will spread fast though - everyone loves news of a baby's arrival.  

The weather has turned warmer this week and I am eternally grateful to those friends who had lent me some capri pants/light tops.  I did pick up a couple of short-sleeve t-shirts but I just can't bring myself to buy more spring clothes, given that I only have about four weeks left to go. I certainly am prone to getting hot these days and have even had to ask hospital maintenance staff to bring me a fan and turn down the heat in my office.  As I previously mentioned, I won't let Scott turn up the heat in our house but as with everything, he has resigned himself to another weird stage of pregnancy and honours my request. I'm lucky to have such a good husband!

"The Icebox" (formerly known as our new house)

Poor Scott - I have yet another thing to feel sorry for him about (and another thing to be thankful for).  The weather has been fantastic this week in Calgary and I have taken to wearing my spring clothes.  I'm super happy to have been lent some capris and spring tops because my winter clothes are getting way too warm and I would hate to buy more maternity clothes when I only have five weeks left to go.  However, I'm still pretty warm much of the time (given that I am carrying around my own personal space heater) and I have taken to turning our thermostat WAY down (I believe that I am currently setting it to about 13 degrees).  Poor Scott is now freezing cold all of the time but I won't let him turn it back up.  Am I ever glad to not be pregnant in the summer!  That boy wouldn't stand a chance (due to the extreme likelihood of massive crankiness if I were nine months pregnant in August...)

Baby Shower

My friends Ella and Bex got together to organize a baby shower for me at Bex's house last Saturday.  The day started out with a pedicure treat from Bex (I think that my toes look amazing but I can't see them cause the big belly is in the way...) and a yummy breakfast at the Summit followed by the "cheese and chocolate" themed baby shower.  It was a most lovely day with my fantastic friends.  I wish that my family could have been there but such are the challenges of living so far away from them.  

Four friends and their bumps

Bex, Anthea, and some of the food

Shower guests

Look at those pretty toes!

More shower guests

Mmmm, the chocolate fountain...

33 weeks pregnant

At 33 weeks pregnant, I received a very lovely award from the Alberta College of Social Workers for being a good social worker (or something like that...).  Ella, my friend and co-worker nominated me for the award and got to present it to me at the AGM.  Funny thing is, she was 37 weeks pregnant at the time so we were two big pregnant ladies waddling across the stage.  My friend Anthea had a pretty good chuckle watching us!

Boobs and a belly

This is all that I can see these days and I feel that this is all that people can see of me (and the belly is even bigger now than it was when this photo was taken...).  Plus, Angie was obsessed with taking pictures of my belly while I was out visiting on the Island so I feel like I have to post this just for her.  

32 weeks pregnant (and hanging out on the Island)

Confession time

"Hi, my name is Rebecca and I'm a Zantac addict"...

So, I'm not an addict in the sense that I take too many Zantacs (I still usually only take 1-2 per day which is well within the dosage range) but I get super stressed out when I need one and can't find it quickly.  This has happened on a couple of our recent commuting drives to Canmore.  I probably should take one first thing in the morning but I usually wait until the burning starts, just in case I don't need one for the day.  This morning, I felt the burning and was super worried that I didn't have any left in my bag.  Scott was driving and I couldn't reach my bag to find out.  I started panicking - what if I didn't have one?  What if I had to wait until Banff to get one?  Oh the stress! Now I think that I have the smallest idea of what it is like to crave a drug...

More about the "dreaded waddle"

I had really been hoping that I wouldn't turn into one of those waddling pregnant women.  I thought that I was in the clear because it hadn't happened to me...up until two weeks ago that is.  I've gone through a big growth spurt in the last 1 1/2 weeks and this has shifted things around dramatically.  I try to walk in a normal fashion but I find that I just can't do it.  My belly just naturally sticks way out and I have to take a wide walking stance to manage it.  The other factor is my shifting hips and pelvis - I can feel things moving around and this makes walking quite uncomfortable.  I have the upmost respect for women who are able to continue to be active right up until the end of their pregnancy because, at this point, I'm finding it incredibly challenging to walk a block or two.  I feel quite bad that we aren't able to take the dog out for a nightly stroll but she just have to wait until after the baby is born.