Fun and games with the baby

My weekly email from Baby Centre said that the baby could see light better this week and would likely be able to respond to outside touch.  A friend had already told me about shining the flashlight on your belly and trying to get the baby to touch it but I didn't know that you could try to get the baby to tap back in response to taps on the belly.  I've been trying it over the past few days and have been having tons of fun!  It's probably totally a coincidence that the baby has been moving after I tap my belly or move the flashlight around but it's so neat that I want to believe that we are interacting.  Scott tried the flashlight tonight for the first time and got a huge kick in response.  The baby is getting much stronger at moving around and kicking - the movements are starting to becoming much more visible from the outside.  This is a nice new part of pregnancy (which is good because I've been cursing the baby alot lately for causing all this nasty heartburn and rib pain...)

Exposure therapy

We started picking up baby stuff last week.  First, we went to my friend's sister-in-law's and got a bunch of items.  Next, Scott's mom came to visit and bought us a baby stroller.  We had already received a few hand-me downs awhile back and we did get a few cute baby things for Christmas but it feels like things have officially begun in the 'gathering baby stuff' department.

Having baby items strewn about the house seems to help with the adjustment issues that we are having about becoming parents.  I look at the car seat every time I walk up the stairs and I think about a baby being in there.  We are forced to start thinking about how to organize the baby's room so that we can find a place for all of these items. Scott has started to visualize a baby participating in every activity that we are doing so that he can get used to the thought of having a baby around.  As I had said before, being pregnant for nine months is a good way to get used to the idea of becoming parents and this just feels like another stage in that process.  

Things that a pregnant woman likes to hear (well, maybe not all pregnant women but certainly this one)

1. When people tell you that you are look amazing and/or don't look really heavy and/or don't look like you have gained much weight (this one is the most important!)

2. When your husband thanks you for carrying his baby

3. When people tell you that they think that you will be a good parent and they hope to be like you

4. When people offer to get things/do things for you 

5. When your husband talks to your baby and tells him/her that he can't wait to meet it

6. When people tell you that you better come back to work because they will miss you so much while you are gone

A mother's instict?

People are always asking me if I know what I am having.  Every time but once I have managed to answer "I don't know" (the other time I said that I was having a baby but I felt bad for being so snarky...).  I know that people are wondering if we found out the sex of the baby during the ultrasound but people also ask if I have a sense of what we are having.  To be honest, I don't clue!  I haven't received any signs or symptoms that lead me to think one way or another.  Any dreams that I have had were all just about babies but those babies weren't identifiable by gender.  Our friends can't seem to reach a consensus either - everyone is pretty evenly split as to what they think it is.  Truly, I don't have any longings one way or the other.  I had always assumed that I would have a girl because I only have sisters but now I've had great exposure to some wonderful men (all of Scott's friends are amazing guys) and I would be just as happy to have a boy.  I think that finding out the gender of your baby after hours of painful labour and delivery must be one of the true joys in life and I greatly look forward to that moment.  

Six month update

Well, 24 weeks have now passed with 16 weeks to go until our little one arrives. As you can see, my belly is growing and growing.  I have really popped out since Christmas and have a very round baby bump.  All the nurses and doctors at work finally feel comfortable asking if I am pregnant - there is no hiding it any longer.  It does feel a bit strange to have everyone in on my baby-growing journey but such is the way that things go on this public adventure.  

A few things have changed over the past month.  Thanks to the Snoogle, I have been sleeping much better these past few weeks.  My indigestion has turned into heartburn but occurs less frequently (I think that I am only averaging 2 Tums per day now).  The baby moves for about 15 minutes of every hour and seems to be on a fairly regular sleep schedule - here's hoping that that continues after s/he is born!  I haven't had any bad headaches in awhile and my energy level is decent.  I am starting to struggle with getting up (off the couch, out of a chair) and I am finding it more difficult to bend over.  Scott figures that there is only another few weeks left before he will have to help me put on my shoes and socks.  I had been doing more exercise but that has tapered off over the past two weeks (just because of laziness on my part).  I do experience mild cramping whenever I workout which is somewhat off-putting but completely normal.  I have also experienced more lower abdominal cramping as the baby grows and expands - I suspect that this is normal as well. As I mentioned in a previous post, I have a fair amount of rib pain which seems to come and go.  Again, the joys of the ever-expanding belly! Truthfully, I've had a bit of a hard time adjusting to this new, bigger shape and haven't found pregnancy to be all that enjoyable over the past few weeks.  I know that this is part of the process and is to be expected but sometimes being pregnant is harder than I imagined.  

Those people

I have never liked listening to people talk endless about their pregnancy and/or parenting.  It was especially difficult when I was trying to get pregnant and people would go on and on about their kids.  Now that I am pregnant, I find myself talking about it all the time.  I have also noticed that Scott does it too - we talk about it amongst ourselves, with our friends, and with our families.  It seems that there are endless conversations to have (sometimes I wonder what we talked about before we became pregnant).  As much as I don't like this, I don't really know when it started to happen and I don't feel like I have much control over it.  If you haven't been pregnant, I don't think that I can help you appreciate how much time I spend thinking about being pregnant and having a baby.  It truly occupies 90% of my thoughts. I partly think that this is because I constantly feel pregnant but I think that it is also because there is so much to process about having a baby and being a parent.  It is the most overwhelming thing that I have ever done and even though I am stoked to become a mother, it totally terrifies me.  

New challenges in exercising

I made it my second trimester resolution to try to get more exercise and I've actually been fairly successful at this goal over the past month (this is after four months of barely doing anything at all!).  I've been managing to get out about four times per week - usually a mix of cross-country skiing, swimming, and the gym.  I feel good to be exercising as it gives me a sense (however false it might be) of having some type of control over what's happening to my body.  I also have been enjoying the fresh air and chats with friends.  The above pic was taken last weekend (at 5 1/2 months pregnant) on the Spray Loop in Banff.  I got to go out with my good friend Anthea for a lovely little 12.5km ski.  The temps were great and the snow was in good condition.  The loop is supposed to take about 1 1/2 hrs to complete - it took us (read me) 3 hours.  Carrying a baby around while exercising is apparently hard work (ironically, this actually seems to have come as a surprise to me) and make me really slow.  I also get way more tired and sore after an outing like this - I think that I had to take a 3 hour nap after we got home - but every little bit helps my mood and I am truly just happy to get out.  I'm also grateful to have wonderful friends who are willing to go at my pace and who don't make fun of me for being slow as a turtle.  

A pain in the...

I'm not exactly sure what is happening but I've started getting pains in my ribs. I can't tell if the baby is kicking up high and I'm feeling it in my ribs or if my ribs are just moving apart to make space for the baby.  Either way, it's pretty darn uncomfortable.  Being pregnant is weird and this is just one of those other minor annoyances that comes along with growing a human from scratch.  To be honest, I've not really enjoyed being pregnant this week.  My belly is getting much bigger (and continues to do so, go figure!) and I have numerous little aches and pains.  I know that I'm whining a bit here but being pregnant is actually a little bit harder than I thought that it would be. I know that I will get harder and I know that a fantastic baby will come as a result of this but I have a new appreciation for the trials and tribulations of pregnancy.  

The pillow problem

A pregnant woman resorts to many things to try to get a good night's sleep (I suspect that a new mother will resort to every more things but I'll save that for a later post...).  As my body changes, shifts, and generally gets better, I have had more and more trouble sleeping.  I have never been a particularly good sleeper and pregnancy definitely makes things worse.  To find a solution to my sleeping problem, I have created an arsenal of pillows to assist me in sleeping. I've tried a foam pillow, a feather pillow, a body pillow, and a memory foam pillow.  None of these were working particularly well so I turned to the Internet for some suggestions (I just don't know what people did before the Internet came along).  One website recommended the "Snoogle" - I figured that it was worth a try so I trotted off to Calgary last weekend to buy one. It was the best $60 that I have ever spent!  The Snoogle is the 'C' shaped pillow that you see in this picture and provides awesome tummy, back, hip, and neck support.  It did take me a few days to get used to but I am pleased to report that I am sleeping MUCH better these days.  I'm sure that I will go through another growth spurt and will become quite uncomfortable when trying to sleep towards the end of my pregnancy but I'm just happy to be getting restful sleeps right now.  

p.s. Note - there sure isn't a lot of room left for Scott and the dog in the bed anymore.  Luckily, I keep the spare pillows beside my bed so there is just me, Scott, the dog, and the Snoogle.  I'm not sure how the baby will fit in the bed with us but I'm sure that we will make it work :)

A new kind of love

Not only am I falling in love with this baby, but each day I fall more and more in love with Scott. Having a baby is bringing out a whole new side to him and I'm thrilled about this new dimension to his personality.  He loves this kid (but still reassures me that he has no interest in other people's kids!) and is super protective of it.  He rubs my belly, listens to see if he can hear the baby move, and talks to the baby.  So sweet!

Scott went away this weekend.  In and of itself, this isn't abnormal.  He has gone away for long periods (weeks or months) on numerous occasions during our 13 year relationship.  However, he hadn't gone away since I found out that I was pregnant and I felt quite alone and vulnerable while he was gone.  It was weird to not have him around to feel the baby move.  It was strange to not give him updates on how my day went.  It was scary to think that something might happen to him while he's away.  I feel a new sense of worry about having something happen to him.  I've always been pretty independent but the idea of raising a child on my own totally terrifies me.  I need him in my life more than ever and I know that this baby needs him around to be a father.  I think that Scott also senses this new level of responsibility.  Amongst other things, he is a more cautious skier and speaks often of his protective thoughts regarding our unborn baby.  In a previous post, I had made note of my thankfulness for having nine months to adjust to the idea of having a baby.  It seems that this nine months of adjusting is just as important for fathers and allows for a strong level of bonding between the parents and the baby. Such an amazing thing to witness!

What kind of parent will I (we) be?

Scott and I spend a lot of time talking about what type of parents we want to be.  We've reviewed what we liked and didn't like about our upbringings and talk endlessly about the things that we value in raising children.  We have lots of big ideas about how to raise children - the ways that we will discipline them, the things that we will do them, how we will structure their daily routines, etc. etc.  For the very most part, Scott and I are on the same page regarding our ideas on parenting (thank goodness!).  However, I'm super curious to see what will actually happen once we have the child. How will our parenting styles mesh?  How different will our parenting be than how we currently plan it to be?  How will the personality of our child affect our parenting?  I know that my job in mental health can be incredibly challenging some days but I imagine that parenting will (on occasion) be the most challenging thing that I have ever done.  I'm super excited to see how Scott and I will do as parents and I'm looking forward to seeing how it will all unfold.  

Maternity clothes make you look pregnant

I know that I already look pregnant all the time, but the style of maternity clothes certainly seems to accentuate the baby belly.  I'm wearing an empire-waisted maternity shirt today and I feel like it makes me look super pregnant. Plus, the weird waistbands on maternity pants don't help either. You can either choose to wear the band high over your belly or rolled down underneath your belly. It is a matter of personal comfort as to which style your prefer - some days I prefer different positions depending on how my belly is feeling - but both styles seem to add to the roundness of the belly.  

Belly touching

I know that people are super interested in pregnancy and feeling the baby move (I'm totally fascinated by it so how could other people not be interested?) but it is kinda weird when people touch my stomach.  So far, I've had friends ask whether or not they can touch it and I'm completely ok with this but I've had some casual acquaintances reach out and touch my belly - that's just strange! I'm not really sure why people think that it's ok to do this without asking but it seems that there is just something about being pregnant that makes people curious.  I knew that it would happen and I wasn't sure how I would feel about it but it's not as bad as I thought. It still catches me off guard when people immediately touch my belly when they see me but it seems like a nice gesture.  I'm more than happy to share the  whole "baby-moving" experience with those who are close to me, in fact, I think that it's such an amazing thing to feel and I want others to feel it too but the random strangers (which hasn't actually happened) and casual co-workers 'belly touching thing' is a whole other story...

Are you scared?

People often ask me this question.  I never really know how to answer them - partly because I'm not exactly sure what they are asking about and partly because I am unsure of the answer.  If they are wondering whether or not I' m scared of labour and delivery, then the answer is yes(!).  I'm sure that I will have many more posts on this subject in the months to come so I won't say more now but I'm sure you can imagine what I am afraid of.  If they are asking whether or not I'm scared of becoming a parent, then the answer is no.  I have no idea of what the journey of parenthood will be like but I'm most curious to see how it all unfolds.  I'm sure that it will be thrilling and devastating, exciting and mindnumbingly boring, frustrating and rewarding...probably all in the same day.  I'm not scared about the uncertainty of what lays ahead because I have no idea of what it will be like to be a parent.  Rather, I'm planning on just going with the flow to see what the future holds for me, Scott, and this little being that I'm carrying.  Being a parent might be scary but at this point, I'm just excited to meet our new baby.  

Cleavage

I've never been all that comfortable with cleavage, mine or others.  People (mostly men) have been staring at my chest since I was a young woman and I've never wanted to add to that.  I had often wondered why pregnant women were so busy putting all their cleavage on display. Now, however, I totally understand.  When you are pregnant, your boobs have a life of their own (truly!).  I can't hide my cleavage (unless I am wearing a turtleneck) and there is very little that I can do to make things appear smaller than they are.  Also, there are a limited number of shirt styles for us pregnant folks and most of those styles seem to enhance one's newfound cleavage, rather than minimize it.  I do try to wear tank tops under most of my shirts as it does provide me with more of the modesty that I crave.  However, as a previous post mentioned, it still doesn't seem to stop the boys from chatting away about my new bosoms, even when I'm sitting right beside them...

Judgements

I can't believe that:

• "she got pregnant by accident"
• "she took so long to get pregnant"
• "she's only have one child"
• "she's having another child so quickly"
• "she's not breastfeeding"
• "she's staying home with her kids"
• "she's returning to work"
• "she doesn't have her kids on a routine"
• "she's so structured about the kids' schedule"
• "she had a glass of wine while she was pregnant"
• "she's exercising so much while pregnant"
• "she isn't doing any exercise at all"
• "she's still drinking coffee"
• "she took medication while she was pregnant"
• "she's getting so big"
• "she's got such a small baby belly"
• "she's feeding that to her kids"
• "she lets her kids watch tv"
• "she leaves her kids with a babysitter"
• "she's going out already, so soon after having her baby"
• "she's having a natural childbirth"
• "she had an epidural"
• "she's using a midwife"
• "she's using a doctor"
• "she's having the baby at home"
• "she lost the baby weight so quickly"
• "she still hasn't lost any of the baby weight"
• "she spent so much money on maternity clothes" (oh wait, I think that people might only say that about me...)

These are just a snapshot of some of the comments that I have heard (and/or thought) about pregnant/mothering friends.  Women have come a long way in their fight for equal rights and opportunities, both at home and in the workforce.  However, there is something about pregnancy and mothering that seems to cause women to regress into the worst kind of judgementalism. Motherhood and pregnancy seems like it should be a a time to offer the highest amount of support to our friends and family.  Rather, I've heard endless comments that place blame on other women for the choices that they make regarding their children and their pregnancy.  I'm certainly not off the hook on this - many of the above comments were ones that I had thought to myself on other occasions.  Even my previous post mentions one of my judgements - thinking that women are choosing to put their cleavage on display and that this somehow makes them a bad person.  Many of the other comments are things that people have already said to me about my pregnancy or have said about other women's pregnancies.  It is hurtful and wrong - I think that we need to lay off the judgments and work on being more supportive.  

Is it possible to OD on Tums?

There are lots of weird (read "annoying") things about being pregnant.  The ever present indigestion (now including heartburn!) is one of them.  I think that I probably bring some of it on myself because I often end up lying down after eating but my stomach is constantly indigested (not that I know if that's a real word).  I checked with the pharmacist and she said that it was ok to use Tums while pregnant but perhaps I should have clarified that I meant using 4 extra strength Tums per day...

Five month update

Side View

Front View

As you can see, I have experienced substantial growth in the "baby belly" region over the past month.  Actually, much of this has happened over the past two weeks.  I've gone from looking like I was overeating during the holidays to actually looking like I'm having a baby.  I've told all my mental health co-workers but I haven't told many of the hospital staff and I keep getting funny looks these days as they check out my tummy and see its new size.  I sometimes find it a bit awkward to discuss my pregnancy so I haven't said much about it but I am honest when anyone asks me if I am pregnant.  

As for new developments this month, the change in the belly size is the biggest one.  I haven't had many headaches lately but I am currently experiencing difficulty sleeping.  I think that my stomach is stretching out and my sides are often quite sore, especially when I am trying to sleep. The baby continues to move around quite a bit but the kicks are less distinctive than they were before. Rather, I can just feel constant movement with the occasional kick.  

We finally have picked a girl's name so I think that we are set in the name department.  We certainly could change our minds over the next four month or once we see the baby but I'm happy to have narrowed down our selections.  

I can no longer fit in any regular pants but I can still wear some of my regular t-shirts.  I'm wearing maternity clothes on a daily basis and was pleased to receive some new maternity clothes for Christmas.  I'm finding it increasingly difficult to bend over to tie my shoes as my belly really gets in the way - I suspect that this will only get worse!

We have begun looking into strollers and other items for the baby's room.  We continue to hear from friends who are willing to pass on some of their baby stuff to us.  I feel that I am more mentally ready to start thinking about getting a space ready for the baby so the timing is good.  

Everything was fine during my last doctor's check-up.  The baby is growing well and is within a normal size range.  We are starting to think about which prenatal class to attend - there are two choices in the Bow Valley.  One is through the Health Region and one is through some of the local doulas.  I'm currently polling my other mothering friends to get their feedback on which class their preferred but I'm leaning towards the health region class.  We will make a decision about that this week.