A reprive from motherhood

I went back to work in Banff last night. Granted, it wasn't to my usual job but it was to a job that I'm pretty familiar with (doing mental health assessments on a walk-in/emergency basis). EI has changed the rules and you are now allowed to earn $179/week which is a very nice addition to the $1600/month that you receive when you are on EI. I was a little nervous about going back - would I still remember how to do my job? Would I remember the names of the nurses in Emerg? Would it be ok to leave Lily? I've been away from Lily on a few occasions, the longest being the 10 hours that my mom watched her for when Scott and I went mountain biking. I'm away from her for a few hours at a time every weekend when we are biking and I've gone out on a couple of occasions without her. It was easy for us to arrange for Scott to watch her and I truly had no qualms about this. In fact, I think that it's a really nice opportunity for them to hang out together as Scott doesn't get to see her during the day and I know that he really misses her. Did I think about her when I was at work? Yes, I certainly did. Did I miss her? If I'm being honest, the answer is no. I knew that she was happy and well cared for by her dad and I enjoyed the break from full-time mothering. Was I happy to be back at work? Absolutely! I really enjoy being a social worker and I've missed it. I think that I'm good at my job and I truly love it. I'm not sure how I'm going to feel when I have to return to work on a full-time basis and Lily is placed in the care of someone else other than Scott but for now, I'm going to enjoy this opportunity to have my cake and eat it too.

Work baby shower

This post is a little late but the photos are cute so it's still worth posting about. My colleagues at Mental Health threw a group baby shower for Lily, Nya, and Nelly way back in July. There was a pink theme (quite fitting considering the three girls born to Mental Health staff) with lots of yummy food and some great baby gifts. It was really nice to get out and see everyone and I appreciated the celebration of our little girls.

Shelly and Nya

Shelly and Ella

Ella and Nelly

Carrie and Lily

The yummy cake that Roxanne made

Betty and Lily

Do my co-workers know me well or what?!

***I think that it's pretty funny that there isn't one picture of me holding Lily at the baby shower. I was happy to have a break from holding her and since there were lots of willing baby-holders in attendance, I totally took advantage of it! Also, at this point in Lily's life, I was just happy to be able to eat a meal without being interrupted by a crying baby...***

Travelling with a baby

Scott and I have been camping/mountain biking every weekend since Lily was four weeks old (except for one weekend when my parents were visiting). We are getting better and better at heading out to camp with a baby and our system is improving every weekend. One thing that hasn't improved is my inability to allow for 'baby travel time' in our plans. I keep thinking of travel time as the actual time that it takes to get from point A to point B without allowing time for stopping for feedings, diaper changes, or fussing baby. Luckily Lily is pretty good at travelling in her car seat but we still usually stop 3-5 times per trip. We are about to embark on our first cross-province trip with Lily when we head out to the Island in September and we've already come to terms with the fact that that trip is no longer a one-day drive.

We've learned that it's important to bring toys for Lily to play with when we are driving. In this photo, she's doing two of her favorite new things- sucking on her hand while holding onto her kangaroo.

We've also learned that it's good to have a supply of pumped milk on hand so that Lily can have a bottle on the road. I was pretty darn surprised to see that she was able to hold the bottle herself, despite the fact that her technique is a little off.

Hanging out with Dad

Lily is now able to sit up when she is leaning against someone's chest. She and Scott like to sit on the couch together and watch mountain biking movies...

Cuddlelious!

My mom has made tons of wonderful blankets for Lily including this super soft fleecy blanket. When we returned from Fernie and took Lily out of her car seat, this is how we found her. She had pushed the blankets all up around her face and looked so warm and cozy!

Another tenting photo

I took this photo of Lily when we were camping in Fernie a few weeks ago. I had just finished feeding her and was struck by how cute she looked in her little hoodie. Couldn't resist getting a photo!

Developmental milestones

I can now understand how it's not hard to think that your child is a genius, especially when they start reaching some of their developmental goals. I don't actually think that Lily is ahead of the curve on anything but I keep thinking that she's totally brilliant, each and every time she learns to do something new. In this photo, (taken on August 6th) she's reaching for objects for the first time. She's been sitting in this bouncy chair since she was first born and spent many hours looking at the items hanging over the chair but this was the first time that she actively reached for them. Since that time, she's learned to put objects into her mouth and can spend hours playing the "reach for object, put object in mouth" game. It's super cute to watch her discover her world!

Whatever could she be thinking about?

Contemplating life from the comfort of Dad's arms

Folk Fest Baby

Lily went to the Canmore Folk Fest on the August long weekend with myself and my parents. It was super hot out which made it a bit challenging to be there with a baby but Lily survived and seemed to have a good time listening to the music.

Stroller baby

Lily likes going for walks and being outside in her stroller (even if it means that she has to be strapped in wearing her stupid sun hat!)

No matter how hard I try...

Lily still manages to wiggle one or both of her arms out of her swaddle! This makes me think that she doesn't want to be swaddle anymore but I just don't think that she's ready to be swaddle-free for naps/bedtime as she constantly scratches at her face or her head when she's trying to fall asleep and she's just not able to settle without being wrapped up tight like a baby burrito.

Three month update

Little Lily is now 3 1/2 months old. I took her for a check-up last week and she's tipping the scales at 10 pounds, 10 ounces. She is 62 cms long and her head is 40 cms round. This means that she has gained 3 pounds 4 ounces and is 12 cms longer than at birth. Lily is still pretty small in the weight department (only in the 5th percentile) but she's in the 50th percentile for length and head circumference. She is reaching all her developmental milestones (able to roll over sometimes, reaching for objects, gaining neck strength, turning her head towards sounds) so neither the doctor nor I are concerned about her weight. All in all, she's doing just fantastic and is a wonderful little baby!

As for Scott and I, we are settling nicely into parenthood. Things certainly have gotten much easier since Lily was first born - she knows us better and we know her better - both of which makes it easier to care for her. She seems more settled into the outside world and certainly is no longer a newborn. It seems like she sometimes grows right before our eyes - I'm truly stunned by how much she has changed in such a short period of time. Scott is thrilled about fatherhood. He's enjoying it more than he ever would have thought and has such a deep love for his daughter. He's completely hands-on with Lily's care and is a wonderful father. He recognizes that, at least at this point, fatherhood is probably easier than motherhood (given the feeding schedule, nighttime waking, and general care of Lily) but we both know that it will even out with time. As for me, I enjoy Lily more and more every day. It has been a difficult transition to get used to being a mother and while I do love Lily more than I could ever have imagined, I'm still sorting out what motherhood means for me.

Liquid Gold

Pumping breast milk is actually a lot of work. I didn't know this before I started pumping and I thought that everything would be easybreezy. Much to my surprise, it's time-consuming with low return for your efforts. Depending on the time of day, I can usually get 2-4 ounces of milk but it can take as much as 60 minutes to get that amount. I try to pump twice a day - one bottle for Scott to give Lily in the evening (we were trying to fatten her up with breast milk because she was on the lower end of the growth charts and it seemed like an extra feed would help) and one bottle for freezing (to have a stockpile of milk for when I'm away from Lily - either biking or when I return to work in a couple of weeks). When you add two sessions of pumping to an already busy schedule of breastfeeding every three hours, it often feels like I'm only ever working on providing or producing milk (in between trying to keep Lily entertained or getting her to go to sleep). Given all of this, each ounce of milk is very precious and it's so frustrating when some gets wasted. This happens when I spill the milk pouring it from freezer bag to bottle. It also happens when Lily doesn't quite finish a bottle. Worst of all, it happened last night when she didn't want to drink the bottle that we tried (twice) to give her. On the first occasion, the milk was too cold (I was trying to feed her a bottle when we were driving back from Vernon but we had nowhere to heat it up) and she was just too sleepy to eat on the second occasion. So, sadly, I threw away four glorious ounces of milk this morning. It killed me to do it but it had to be done (darn food safety rules!) Having said all that, I'm so happy that Lily will take a bottle as it gives me some of the freedom that I seek and allows me a reprieve from the 24/7 world of motherhood.

I'm just not that kind of Mom

When I was pregnant, I often wondered what type of parent I would be. Would I be overprotective (which was my first guess) or would I be laid-back (like Scott)? Turns out, I'm pretty low-key when it comes to Lily. I don't make people wash their hands before they hold Lily, I don't care if kids touch her when they see her, I don't carry an Epi-pen in case of bee stings, I don't pay attention to how my food intake affects her mood and I'm not concerned about her getting bitten by mosquitos when we are camping. To be honest, it mostly never occurs to me to worry about things that other people seem to worry about. This doesn't make me better or worse than other Moms, it's just the way that things have turned out. Some people seem surprised that I'm so relaxed for a first-time Mom but I firmly believe that Lily will be a more relaxed child if I'm a relaxed parent. Only time will tell if this theory will hold true but at this point, it all seems to be working out in our favour.

Getting better every day

I try to put Lily on her stomach for daily doses of tummy time but I don't always remember. However, despite my inconsistent efforts, her ability to hold her head up is improving all the time. Keeping it straight and in one place is a whole other story though....

Look Ma, no hands!

Daddy's girl

Happy baby sequence

It's time for your close-up

A morning photo of Lily in the tent while we were camping in Golden.

Auntie visit

Ange came to visit last month for a week - it was super fun to have her around (not to mention totally helpful to have her watch Lily on the weekend when we went camping/mountain biking in Golden!). She sure loves Lily and I'm sure that Lily loves her too!

Punk rock baby

Lily's hair is growing fast and changing colour. The hair is now a light auburn colour and quite long on top. I love making her hair into a mohawk - SO fun!

Lily and her moblie

My sister Katie had this beautiful mobile made for Lily by an artist in Nelson. I hung it over the change table so that Lily could look at it when I'm changing her. She loves staring at the pretty colours and fun fairies.

This week's edition of cute baby sleeping photos

A mom and daughter photo

It's not often that I get to be in a picture with Lily as it's usually me who is taking the photos. However, when Angie was visiting, she took a bunch of great shots of me and Lily. I particularly like this one.

It's hard

Nobody ever said that parenting was easy. I knew that long before I had Lily and I continue to be reminded of it often. Most of the time, Lily is a super easy baby and it's pretty breezy taking care of her. However, over the past few weeks, she turned into a totally random sleeper. For four nights in a row, she would wake up every hour or so - either to feed or just to fuss. Not much would calm her down and it was very difficult to get her settled. It was so frustrating and I'm so glad that she's not normally like that because it's really hard to cope with a crying baby when it's the middle of the night and you haven't had any sleep. I know that I have been blessed with a pretty happy baby and I thank my lucky stars for that because I truly didn't do all that well with the change in her sleeping habits. She had been sleeping through the night (meaning sleeping from 11pm until 5:30am) but that doesn't seem to be the case anymore. She is no longer waking up every hour but she is still waking up 1-2 times per night. I've since come to terms with this change but I do look forward to the time when she goes back to sleeping for 6 hours straight.

Documented proof

I know that some people were a little skeptical about Lily's ability to wiggle out of her sleepers and oneies. She did it again with her sleeper this weekend when we were camping in Fernie but it was too dark in the tent to take a picture. However, I did get these images from a few weeks ago.

Exhibit A

Exhibit B