The first real wave of pregnancy hormones

Today is Christmas Eve and I'm at work, feeling pretty sad about not being on the Island with my family for Christmas.  I've already cried four times today which must be a new personal record! I'm totally blaming it on pregnancy hormones.  I would laugh at the silliness of all this hormone-induced crying but only if I wasn't so busy trying to look like the composed social worker that I am...

Little kicks

I've felt the baby kicking since about week 17.  At that time, it was mostly at night and usually just when I was lying down.  Now, the baby kicks randomly throughout the day.  The kicks still aren't all that strong and they continue to feel like little pulses or little gas bubbles moving through my stomach but they are pretty fun to feel.  They keep catching me off-guard because it surprises me every time they happen but I am really enjoying this aspect of pregnancy.  

The last day of "regular pants"

I wore my last pair of "normal" pants last week (not including my Lululemons).  I even had to undo the buttons by the end of the day on those pants so I knew that it was time to pack them away with all the other clothes.  Some of my "normal" shirts still fit but you can see the pregnancy belly band on the pants because normal shirts aren't long enough.  Since I'm not a fan of this look, I've decided to forgo all of my regular clothes and switch over to maternity clothes.  I realize that my maternity closet is sorely lacking because I barely have any outfits to wear - I think that this is a sign that I need to go do a bit more shopping...

On another note, I've decided to put my scale away (and by put away, I mean store at a friend's house) until January 2010.  It's hard to see the number go up and up, even though I know that I'm not overeating (what I am doing is not exercising which isn't good either).  I know that I shouldn't weigh myself right after the baby is born as it will likely cause me huge amounts of stress.  All in all, it just seems better to put it away for a long while.  I will bring it back into the bathroom in a year or so as I do want to make sure that I'm losing the baby weight.  I just need to make sure that I'm not putting too much pressure on myself to do that.  

Compression stockings suck!

That's all I've got to say on this subject.  

People say the darndest things...

I've had some very interesting reactions from people when I tell them that I am pregnant.  First, a number of people (thankfully, no one close to me) were genuinely surprised when I told them that I was pregnant.  Really?  You were surprised that I'm pregnant?  I'm curious to know which part is a surprise - is it the fact that I'm 33 and most women try to have kids by the time that they are 35?  Or is it the fact that Scott and I have been married for 8 years and might be ready to move onto the next stage of our life?  Do tell, because I'm quite curious....

The other funny thing that people ask is whether or not this pregnancy was planned or was an accident.  Again, really?  Not that it is any of your business, but yes, it was completely planned. What would you say if I told you it was an accident?  Why do you even think that it's ok to ask such a question?  See above for more reasons why this is such a silly question.  

I know that I have said more than my fair share of stupid (and possibly hurtful) things in my life but I am endlessly fascinated by the silly things that others say.  I'm sure that I will hear all sorts of other odd questions as I go forward in this pregnancy and in my soon-to-be life as a parent but these two questions provide me with all sorts of amusement.  

The transformation begins

I've always known that I wanted to have children.  In fact, my high school friends used to tease me about having six kids.  I never thought that I would have six but I always figured that I would have two or three.  Scott was a little less certain about his desire to become a father and would only agree to having one.  He was never really all that into other people's kids and he showed no interest in things relating to children.  I think that he assumed that he would be a father but it never really part of his childhood dreams for his future.  Once I got pregnant, I was happy to be pregnant but I wasn't as excited as I thought that I would be.  This baby was very much planned and is very much wanted but it all seemed so surreal in the beginning.  People had started to call me "Mamma" from early on in the pregnancy and to be honest, it kinda freaked me out. As much as I was looking forward to having a baby, it seemed very foreign to consider myself as a mother.  I still am not totally comfortable with that idea yet but I am starting to get used to it. 

Going for our 18 week ultrasound this week has really made a huge difference in how I view this pregnancy.  The baby (I've really moved away from calling it "the fetus" - another sign of acceptance) seems much more real and I'm starting to better be able to visualize what it would be like to be a mother.  I've starting to fall in love with the little being that I am carrying but I know that this love will grow a million-fold when I actually get to meet the little one.  As for Scott, he's head over heels about this baby!  He was so fascinated by the ultrasound and he loves to tell people about the experience.  He is forever trying to feel the baby move and he loves to listen to my belly to see if he can hear anything. When I ask him about this, he says that he has always known that he would love his own baby, he could just care less about other people's kids (such a typical Scott statement!).  Previously, I had taken this as reason to be concerned about his potential indifference to his own children but I now realize how wrong I was.  Just one of the many life lesson that this child is already teaching me...

18 week ultrasound

Profile of the face

    

                         The baby's legs (this is the coolest photo!)

Skeletor!   (this is a frontal shot of the baby's face)
Another profile shot

We went to Calgary today for our 18 week ultrasound appointment.  This experience was SO much better than the last time (aside from the nearly bursting bladder again!) - the ultrasound tech was way nicer and it was so amazing to see our baby.  The appointment lasted about 40 minutes, during which the ultrasound tech checked out every aspect of the baby's health (brain development, organ development and placement, limbs, bone placement, cleft palate, club foot etc. etc. etc.). Everything totally checked out for our little one which made us really happy.  The baby must be a boy because it wasn't cooperating all that well - it was moving around a ton (hence, not the greatest photos) and was being a bit difficult for the tech to get her readings.  We still have no sense of what kind of baby we are having as it doesn't look particularly like a boy or a girl.  We did notice that it has my up-turned nose but that's about all that we could see.  Scott even managed to hold in his curiosity and he didn't ask what the sex of the baby was.  The baby is currently about 9 inches long and weighs just under 1/2 a pound.  All the measurements were bang on so we remain close to our original due date of May 12th.  All in all, today was a fantastic day!

On another note, ultrasound clinics are making a killing on selling these photos.  Each disk costs $20 and I'm sure that they sell a ton of them.  I can't imagine that they cost more than $1 to make (and that's being generous).  What a brilliant marketing idea!

Thank goodness for nine months of pregnancy!

As with many things, I'm sure that my perspective will change by the time that I'm hugely pregnant and desperate to give birth but at this point, I'm pretty darn happy that pregnancy lasts nine months.  First off, the long period of time gives you a chance to get used to the idea of having a baby and all the things that will change in your life.  I have barely begun to start processing that idea as I was pretty cautious about my thoughts during the first three months because I just wanted to get past the 'risk of miscarriage' stage.  Now, I'm at the 'coming to terms with all the changes in my body' stage.  Soon, I figure that I will start working on the 'oh my god, we are having a baby! what the hell were we thinking?' stage.  While I spend some moments thinking about what it will be like to have a baby, I can't honestly imagine it as it seems like such a foreign concept when you have never experienced it first-hand.  I haven't started to prepare the baby's room because I'm just not mentally there yet. Maybe that's the stage that's next to come...

The second advantage of being pregnant for nine months is that you have lots of time to organize your house.  Maybe this isn't important for other people because their houses are probably always organized but mine is often somewhat of a disaster (especially after a summer of mountain biking when we weren't home, ever!).  It's taken me weeks to go through my closets and put away all the clothes that don't fit and to figure out which maternity clothes I want/need. Now that I have (mostly) finished that task, I need to work on organizing our storage area.  See, the baby will not be getting a dedicated baby room (at least not while we live in this place); rather, it will be fit somewhere in between Scott's office stuff, our mountain bikes, and all the climbing/ski gear. In order to make this happen, I need to get rid of some stuff and organize the rest of it.  Here's hoping that I finish all this organizing in time!

The first kick?

I'm pretty sure that I felt the baby kick yesterday.  I was lying in bed for a little rest after work (and before bookclub) and I had my hands on my tummy.  I started to feel this little bumps against my hand.  There are hard to describe but it almost feels like a little pulse.  I can't really notice it without having my hand on my stomach, although I think that I am starting to get a sense of where the baby is sitting in my belly.  Scott came up later and tried to feel it. He thinks that he felt one kick but I had to leave to go out so he couldn't try to feel more.  Pretty exciting!

Proportions

I currently don't look all that pregnant.  Rather, I just look like I've been eating too many cookies (although my boobs look more like they have been eating boxes and boxes of doughnuts!). However, I am about 8 pounds less than my previous highest weight and only one pair of my largest-sized pants still fit.  I know that my stomach is so much different than normal but I really wish that I had more of a baby belly than a jelly belly.  

Names

I feel that it is quite a big responsibility to name a person. The person will have the name for his/her whole life - they may love it or they may hate it. Other people might make fun of it or they might end up with a horrible nickname. I want the name to be somewhat unique but not totally weird. Oh the pressure!

Scott and I have been throwing out different ideas for names since we found out that we were pregnant and have (mostly) settled on a name for a boy. Scott came up with the name when we were driving out to Whistler for the Thanksgiving long weekend. I had never thought of it as a name but I really like it. We don't have any ideas for a girl's name because Scott keeps boycotting all my suggestions. I plan to borrow a baby name book from the library to see if we can come up with something good for a girl.  

We have decided that we won't be sharing our first name selections until the baby is born. People will inevitably share their thoughts on the name and they might taint my view of the name. However, we are sharing the middle names - If we have a boy, his middle name will be Michael (Michael was Scott's cousin's name. They were incredibly close as children but sadly, Mike was killed in a car accident four years ago at Christmas time). If we have a daughter, she will have some type of floral middle name. Me, my sisters, my mom, and my grandmother all have some type of flower in our names. I plan to keep this tradition alive and will either use 'Lotus' (one of my two middle names, my mother's middle name, and my grandmother's name) or some other type of flower.

The downside to pregnancy

All in all, I've been pretty lucky with this pregnancy - I haven't felt too sick and I was tired in the beginning but not anymore.  Also, I have a bad memory for negative side effects so I quickly forget the bad things about being pregnant (which, I suspect, will come in handy after the delivery). Anyways, probably the two worst side effects I experience are indigestion and headaches.  I don't really get heartburn (at least not yet) but my tummy gets all bloaty and burpy. I carry a bottle of Tums around with me and usually take a couple per day.  The worst thing that happens is the headaches.  I used to get numerous headaches as a child and teen but they have gotten much better since I've become an adult.  However, pregnancy has brought them back with a vengeance. I seem to go through spells - headaches for a few weeks, nothing for a few weeks, and then back to headaches.  Initially, I resisted taking pain meds because I didn't want to take anything that would harm the baby.  However, the pain often gets to be too much and the doctor says that it's fine to take Tylenol.  I've had to leave work early on a number of occasions (including today) so that I could go home, lie down, and put an ice pack on my head. These headaches usually last 1-2 days and are not fun.  I've super happy to be pregnant but this part kinda sucks.