"But you don't look tired"

Just like most new parents, we've had our ups and downs regarding Lily's sleeping habits. The best (read: longest) that she has done is 6 hours straight and this only happened for 3 days in a row. I figure that I have had less than a dozen nights of sleep that involved me sleeping for longer than 3 hours in a row. Surprisingly, I don't feel awful and people seem compelled to tell me that I don't look tired (I think that this is the same as telling a pregnant lady that she looks amazing, despite the fact that she feels huge. Regardless, comments like that worked then and they work now). I had been trying to sleep in when I can and Scott sometimes takes Lily on the weekends so that I can get a few extra hours of uninterrupted sleep. However, most days I'm functioning on 6 hours of sleep or less and have been woken up 2-4 times during those 6 hours. It constantly amazes me as to how well one can function on limited sleep and ironically, I often have trouble falling asleep at night, despite the fact that I'm exhausted. Having said all this, I am getting tired (pardon the pun) of this and am preparing myself for some intensive sleep training with Lily. I've been reading a few things about sleep training and while I'm not a big proponent of 'Cry it Out', I think that we will end up using a modified version of this program. I plan to let Lily fuss herself to sleep for naptimes and I'm working on cutting out one of the night-time feeds. I know that I will still have to get up during the night sometimes to soothe her and feed her but I really am hoping that we are about to turn the corner here on this whole 'sleeping through the night' issue.

Food fight

Something very strange is happening in this house. My beloved off-spring has withdrawn her affection for real food and now has little to no interest in eating. She had done so well with solids during the first week that she was eating them but then her first tooth popped up and she wanted nothing to do with food. I keep trying to feed her and sometimes she'll take a small amount of whatever I'm offering but mostly, she just wants to nurse. I'm assuming that this is just another phase that she'll grow out of but it did make me mildly concerned for a few days. However, I realized that it was fairly unlikely that she would continue to only sustain herself using breast milk and I'm just trying to not worry about it.

Eating is messy!

Chattin' with Lily

She wakes!

Six month update

Lily turned six months old this week. I honestly can't believe that it's been that long - so much has changed in our lives since she arrived. Not only is Lily growing in leaps and bounds, Scott and I are also growing as individuals and as parents. Lily can now sit up on her own (even though she falls over all the time) and she's eating solid foods (to date: rice cereal, beets, and avocados). She chatters away all day long and loves to play in her "Circle of Neglect" (aka Exersaucer). She is pleased with herself when I dance to the music that she makes with her Exersaucer and she is thrilled when I clap at something that she's done. She is mostly a happy baby and only cries when she's sick of playing by herself, has a poopy bum, or is tired. She loves looking at people and sits contently in her bouncy chair and watches me work away in the kitchen. She has the greatest smile and doesn't currently have a fear of strangers. She loves putting everything in her mouth and is very fond of pulling on my hair and Scott's beard. She sprouted her first tooth yesterday (Nov. 19th) although it isn't poking all the way out yet. She usually wakes up happy and wiggles with joy at whomever is coming to get her out of the crib. She often plays in her crib by herself after she wakes up - cooing and playing with her feet or her blankets. She doesn't have consistent sleep habits yet but she does normally go to bed around 7pm and gets up at 8am (with numerous wakings/feedings in between). She loves stroller rides in the Chariot and is pretty happy to sit in her car seat. She loves sleeping with the blankets touching her face and she is fascinated by the dog. She loves music and will dance to the sounds of her exersaucer. She doesn't roll over very often as she is happier to be standing or sitting. She's more aware of cause and effect and will now cry if she falls over or if you make too loud of a noise at her. She splashes around in the bath but doesn't seem thrilled by the water at the swimming pool. We don't know how much she weighs or how tall she is as we haven't been to the doctor in awhile (and don't need to go again until 9 months). She is steadily gaining weight now that I regularly take Domperidone. Her hair and nails are both growing like crazy and her hair is much lighter than when she was born. Her eyes are a dark shade of brown/grey but they may still continue to change with time. She happiest when Scott and I are both home with her as she loves playing with her Mommy and Daddy. All in all, she is a wonderful little baby and we are SO in love with her! It is a true blessing to have her in our lives and we couldn't be more thrilled at having Lily as our daughter.

Now I understand...

I used to always harshly judge those parents who were caught leaving their infants in the car. The media loves to report on these news stories and the parents are always completely vilified. I swore that I would never do such a thing and couldn't understand why anybody would ever put their child at risk like that. Then I had a baby....

Now I realize that it's totally inconvenient to take your baby in and out of the car, especially when s/he is sleeping. I drive around town, wishing that more businesses had drive-thru services. I routinely don't get things done on my to-do list, just because Lily is sleeping and I don't want the hassle of hauling her out of the truck. And, when I'm paying for gas, I leave her in the truck. I lock the doors and I'm never out of eye sight of the vehicle. I just pray that I'm not the next News at Six stories as one of "those" moms!

When will I learn?

We went through another really crappy sleeping week last week. Lily was back to being up ever 1-3 hrs and nursing her was the only thing that would calm her down. I was getting so tired and so frustrated, mostly because I was worried that she was falling into bad sleeping habits and I was concerned that I was adding to those bad habits by nursing her to comfort her. We were pretty sure that she was either teething (the thing that we blame for every bit of crankiness in this house!) and/or having a growth spurt. Well, lo and behold, she slept great last night (and pretty darn good the night before). She slept for 5 hrs straight, then 4 hrs straight with only one feeding in the middle of the night. I should have known that she would sort herself out again and I feel silly for getting so frustrated/worried. This pattern has repeated itself numerous times and I keep getting caught up in the same cycle of worry and annoyance. Maybe I'll remember this post the next time that it happens and I'll remind myself that this too shall pass.

Mmm, beer

Lily really is her father's daughter...

An insult to mothers everywhere

After numerous nighttime wakings and endless hours of primary care-giving, how does Lily reward me? By saying Daddy's name first!!!

Kangaroos are yummy!

First bites of solid food

Nov. 10, 2009 - Although it was one week before Lily's 6 month birthday, we decided to start her on rice cereal. She did surprisingly well with it and seemed to love every bite. Since then, we have tried avocado and will slowly work our way through various meats, fruits, and veggies. She doesn't love the avocado and she still doesn't really seem to understand what to do with the food once it gets to her mouth but she'll figure it out soon enough.

A birthday treat for Grandma Chris

Lily has a surprise for you....

Water baby

I signed Lily up for swimming lessons but they don't start until the end of November. In the meantime, I learned about Mom and Baby Aquasize classes at the VRRI. We've been going for two weeks and while it's quite a lot of work to get Lily dressed for the pool and out again, it is fun to do something different. I was pretty nervous about going to the first class as it was a new experience and I wasn't sure how to manage the logistics of dealing with a wet baby but we figured it out together (with only one big booboo - I didn't realize that she was supposed to wear the Little Swimmers UNDER her swim diaper - I thought that she only needed the swim diaper - oops...) She doesn't really seem to know what to make of the pool but she's not crying so she can't hate it too much. Plus, she does look darn cute in the baby boat so I think that we'll keep going!

Lily and the exersaucer

We finally decided to try Lily in the exersaucer. We'd been holding off until she was big enough and while I still need to pad the back to help her sit up properly, she totally loves it!

Can we handle the truth?

People constantly ask me what I think of motherhood and given that I've never been a good liar, I answer them honestly. While I do love Lily to bits, I find motherhood to be very challenging on the good days and downright awful on the bad days. It is much easier when Scott is home to help out or when I'm out with friends but I find it pretty tough to be on my own on a daily basis. Granted, I get lonely at home by myself and I know that factors in to how I feel about motherhood but I never imagined that it would be this hard to be a parent. So, I feel compelled to tell people that I find it difficult to be a mother and am still coming to terms with what motherhood means for me. Inevitably, people respond with "well, it is hard but it's so rewarding!". Yes, I agree that it is amazing to have a first-hand view of how a human being develops but I wouldn't always describe motherhood as 'rewarding'. I wonder if people are uncomfortable with the truth that I am presenting to them - I'm so far behind on housework and feel like I will never catch up, our household to-do list is longer than our mortgage documents, I have a body that looks nothing like it did before I got pregnant, and I'm constantly sleep deprived. It's incredibly challenging to entertain a baby all day long and it's really hard to be out of the adult world. I miss my work and the freedom that was my life pre-baby. Seeing my baby girl smile and making her laugh provides me with a great deal of happiness but it does come at a price. I certainly don't regret having Lily but being a mother is much harder than I was expecting. Are we ready, as a society, to accept that not every woman loves every minute of motherhood?

Perhaps my favorite photo to date

I captured this pic on Oct. 23rd and I totally love it! It shows an image of my baby in her happiest mood and it melts my heart whenever I look at it.

So much better at tummytime

Lily loves her playmat! It was a bit pricey of a purchase but given that we use it for hours every day, it seems like it was worth it.

Snuggling with Daddy on a cool fall day

Sleeping babies are good babies

About a month ago (right around our return from the three week trip to BC), we decided to move Lily into her crib. The Canadian Pediatric Association (or the American Association) but that's neither here nor there) recommends that babies sleep in their parents' room until they are six months of age, in the hope of reducing the risk of SIDS. We had been following that recommendation and it was working well for us. However, Lily turned into a terrible sleeper after our big trip and I was up every hour or two to settle her when she woke up crying. I wasn't getting any sleep and it was becoming incredibly stressful for me. We had been thinking of trying a slow transition to the crib - perhaps one nap per day in the crib, moving to two naps per day in the crib, and finally, bedtime in the crib. Surprisingly, Lily had no trouble transitioning to the crib and we moved her into her room after only the first day of trying. Initially, I was quite sad to have her so far away but I quickly got over that when I saw that we both were sleeping better. She is still fairly inconsistent with her sleeping habits (most nights she wakes between 2-6 times) but she slept six hours straight last night so I remain ever hopeful that I'll finally get caught up on my sleep!