The transformation begins

I've always known that I wanted to have children.  In fact, my high school friends used to tease me about having six kids.  I never thought that I would have six but I always figured that I would have two or three.  Scott was a little less certain about his desire to become a father and would only agree to having one.  He was never really all that into other people's kids and he showed no interest in things relating to children.  I think that he assumed that he would be a father but it never really part of his childhood dreams for his future.  Once I got pregnant, I was happy to be pregnant but I wasn't as excited as I thought that I would be.  This baby was very much planned and is very much wanted but it all seemed so surreal in the beginning.  People had started to call me "Mamma" from early on in the pregnancy and to be honest, it kinda freaked me out. As much as I was looking forward to having a baby, it seemed very foreign to consider myself as a mother.  I still am not totally comfortable with that idea yet but I am starting to get used to it. 

Going for our 18 week ultrasound this week has really made a huge difference in how I view this pregnancy.  The baby (I've really moved away from calling it "the fetus" - another sign of acceptance) seems much more real and I'm starting to better be able to visualize what it would be like to be a mother.  I've starting to fall in love with the little being that I am carrying but I know that this love will grow a million-fold when I actually get to meet the little one.  As for Scott, he's head over heels about this baby!  He was so fascinated by the ultrasound and he loves to tell people about the experience.  He is forever trying to feel the baby move and he loves to listen to my belly to see if he can hear anything. When I ask him about this, he says that he has always known that he would love his own baby, he could just care less about other people's kids (such a typical Scott statement!).  Previously, I had taken this as reason to be concerned about his potential indifference to his own children but I now realize how wrong I was.  Just one of the many life lesson that this child is already teaching me...