The ups and downs of this pregnancy journey

Even though I had known for about three weeks that the Banff hospital would very likely be closed to labour and delivery, I have taken the 'official' news quite hard.  It is so disappointing to not be able to deliver in Banff.  While I remain hopeful that my doctor will agree to go to Canmore to deliver babies, at this point, this has not yet been confirmed.  Even if she does agree to do this, there is still the possibility that patients will need to be sent to Calgary if Canmore becomes too busy with women in labour.  I am terrified of being sent to Calgary, simply because of a bed shortage.  I hate the idea of giving birth in a big hospital, surrounded by other women in labour, all while being attended to by a resident or doctor that I have never met.  It makes me very sad and upset to evn think about this possibility.  I know that I am being dramatic and this likely won't happen, but it's really hard to not think of the worst-case scenario, especially because this situation is completely out of my control.  I have started to research options in Calgary and would be ok with using a midwife in a hospital in Calgary but I'm pretty sure that they are completely full and can't take on new patients.  I know that I should focus on the fact that I will be having a baby soon and shouldn't focus so much on the experience of how that baby is born but I've always had strong ideas about the type of labour and delivery I hope to have and it feels like that is being taken away from me.  I can only imagine how overwhelming this situation must be for women who are due to give birth in the next few weeks - the only thing that I can be thankful for is that I have 9 more weeks to come to terms with this issue while many other women don't get that opportunity.