The daycare dilemma

I called a dayhome last week. I had been seeking referrals from friends and received a number of good recommendations. I know that I have 3 months or so before I have to return to work but I'd really like to get things sorted out soon so that I can rest easy knowing where Lily is going during the day while I'm at work. So, I made my first phone call last week and while the woman that I spoke to was lovely, I couldn't help feeling nauseous and upset. I started to cry when I was speaking to her and had a good crying session when I got off the phone. I honestly don't want to be a stay-at-home mom (while maybe if we had an endless supply of money and both Scott and I could be home with Lily or go travelling with her or if I could go mountain biking every day or something equally as enjoyable) and I do have a great job that I truly enjoy but it's so hard to get used to the idea that I'll be away from Lily all day. Scott and I are both hoping to only work 4 days per week which means that Lily will only be in care for 3 days per week - not sure why this makes a difference but I do feel better knowing that she'll still be with us for the majority of her days (that's if both of our requests are approved). Anyways...turns out that all of this dayhome stuff is going to be a whole lot harder than I bargained for and so I've decided to just hold off on making phone calls to dayhome providers for another week or so.